Are YOU turning 40 and Fearful?
Free Fearless into 40's Printable here. Supplement with the steps outlined below in the post.
Are you 39 on the door steps of 40 afraid to knock because you don’t what’s beyond those doors? Or are you 38, clutching tight your thirties as though somebody is stealing your designer bag from your hands. Or hey, Are you 40 and like what in the helllllllll ,I was 20 yesterday. Well homegurl, 40 aint so bad lol. It is actually the beginning of something beautiful. Beyond 40, you get to define who you really are, put priorities in place and become the woman you daydream about. If you are still skeptical, lend me just 25 minutes of your time and complete my mind frame reframe printable also known as the Refocus Journal Get your FREE printable here. .
Anxiety is a fear of the unknown the same as starting a new Chapter in your life whether you are turning 30, 40, 50
The 5 step approach will guide you up over the hill to 40 with ease.
First Step: Refocus
In refocus there is a quaint coloring picture which can be colored in 10-15 minutes. I suggest using coloring pencils to prevent bleeding. While coloring, take a moment to remember the fear and worry you had turning 30. You probably had one of those 30 things before the 30 list. Did you complete it? Probably not, and guess what you still made it through your 30s. So affix your mind, to acknowledge that reaching 40 is the same thing, yes we are getting older but we are also getting wiser, our priorities are established and overall our self-esteem is higher so you have the ability to accomplish that 30 before 30 list and so much more in your 40’s.
Step 2: Reframe:
In this step, I want you to think about goals or events you can look forward to in the next 10 years and how you can start either preparing for it or just to get your mind looking at head with excitement. For me, in the next ten years, 5 out 6 of my children will be adults. I can’t believe that, especially when one of this is still quite young now. He can’t even be left home alone and to know in 10 years he will be a young adult. I am about to start crying, I need to spend more time with him.
Step 3: Release
In release, this is where you pour your worries and your fears onto paper. While I won’t mitigate your fears. Some worries and fears, we can do steps now in our early 40’s or late 30’s to address the issue. For me, I am concerned that I may be diabetic so I am making efforts now in my early 40’s to change my diet and I am including more cardio in my weekly lifestyle.
Step 4: Rebuild
We have spend the last 30 something years allowing others to describe who we are and living by the standards of others. I am tired and I know you are too. Take a moment in this rebuild section and think of four characteristics you want to live up to and be described. For me, that is being FIT, UNBOTHERED, FINANCIALLY SMART,FAMILY-Focused. I have to throw in Family FOCUSED remembering in 10 years, I will have 5 of my 6 children who will be adults working towards building their own family. Insert a crying EMOJI please. In the bottom portion, write how you want these to play out in your life over the next decade.
Step 5: Relief
Look, 40 is coming no matter how much make-up or not outwardly acknowledging . You may look 20 but your death certificate will still say 40.. So in the two spaces below, I want you to write about two big milestones or events coming in your forties. For me, I am excited about Holiday events, with all big children and I am also excited for going on Umrah with all my sons once the youngest reaches 7 or 8 which is in just three years. I am also excited to celebrate high school graduation parties soon. My oldest should be graduating in one year. By that time I will be 40’s and two years after that I will be planning another graduation party. God-Willing.
I hope by now, you are excited about your 40’s and you don’t see it as the end of a good period in your life. You are still blooming and aging gracefully. I hope you have enjoyed my free sample. You can purchase the digital version here, and the book bound version here.
Six-Steps: Stress to Serene
Hey, I know how you are likely feeling! You have an upcoming event, or you have an “unexpecting event coming up or maybe the event is over and now you are feeling a little post event stress or shame. Firstly, I have been there in your shoes and emotions. Either I am an anxious over-thinking ball of anxiety prior to an event or I am reeling an reliving it afterwards feeling stress, shame or embarrassment. Throughout my most of my life since I was preteen, journaling has helped me process and cope with big emotions at the time I couldn’t identify such as anxiety or shame or to process emotions I could identify such as sadness, embarrassment and guilt. I would continue journaling through adulthood as it continue to provide the social emotional relief I needed but then Motherhood HIT, After motherhood , I felt deeper emotions, not necesarily social related emotions. My head hurt, my brain ACHE, I couldn’t think, my mental capacity was stacked. . I picked up coloring pencils and immediately felt the mental-load lightening. Coloring became of my morning and evening rountine. Alongside journaling and hot cup of coffee.I eventually sought the market for all in one coloring journal to make morning and evening routine simpler. for a journal that combined both thoughtful journaling and relaxing coloring. Not finding any, I created this journal for myself, FIRSTLY, and hopefully others like, you reading this, can benefit from journaling and coloring cope with anxiety, stress, mental overload and plethora of other emotions weaking out mental wellness daily. picked up -overthinking after the event and feeling a bit of shame, embarrassment or stress. Secondly, there are easy practical steps you can take to aid you in managing your emotions and thoughts. Below, I will explain a practical 5 step solution anyone can remember and follow to aid them with anxiety, stress or shame. I have a free sample here
First Step: REFOCUS
First, Refocus your mind. Currently, your mind is absorbed and ruminating either on the unknown or what cannot be changed. So either the future or the past. The goal of refocus is to get your mind off of the future and the past and to settle it down. , to pull it away from that upcoming event or from the aftermath of an event. You need to give the brain an escape, a place to settle so you can relax and allow yourself the ability to have clarity for processing which is needed in the later steps.
In refocus, you will need to to an activity or a task you enjoy but it must do 2 things: FOCUS and SUSTAINS your attention. Sustaining is key as it aid in the calming your mind and stop the rumadating . This can’t be activity that you can do on autopilot such as watching television. For activities that focuses and sustains, in my restore journal I have coloring illustrations of cozy indoor and outdoor settings. Free sample available here; however feel free to use coloring books of your choice, or another hands-on activity that cannot be done on autopilot. Some people are very good at knitting, and can knit an entire blanket without ever really looking down , if you are this good. Wow, you are amazing, and secondly, this is not the activity to do in this moment because you are doing it on autopilot. Your brain, will easily return to worrying and overthinking. Not allowing it to settle and relax. d getting ready for the next step. I’ll explain the next step shortly.
Step 2: Release Statement
The next step Writing the Release Statement. The release statement is your place to get all the thoughts, and emotions out of your head and heart and onto paper. NO, this isn’t counterintuitive because during the Refocus stage you really calm yourself and now you can write with clarity. Respond to these questions. : What is the upcoming event or future occurrence taking place? Why are you worried? How likely is the nature of your concerns actually going to take place? Has an occurrence of this nature happened before? What was the outcome of that event? Is there anything within your ability beforehand that you can do to prepare for the event? Why is this event occurring? Is it something you want to do or need to do? Questions for post-event stress or shame? What happened in the event that really stands out? Why is this important? What does it say about you as a person? What does it say about your character?Do you completely agree that what it says about your character is truly who you are? Explain how it is or is not a part of your character? Describe the event to yourself as though you are telling a dear friend.
Third Step: Reframe
Third step is to breathe in and out and breathe out and then reread your release statement and try to take it as story you are hearing for the first time. This is you reading about yourself but you reading from another perspective. Now ask yourself, is there any good you can identify? Is there any loopholes you can find? Is there any fallacies or things that can never happen in a million years. Or if you are reading about post-event stress or shame, is there another perspective you can see something be understood.
Third Step: Reframe
Third step is to breathe in and out and breathe out and then reread your release statement and try to take it as story you are hearing for the first time. This is you reading about yourself but you reading from another perspective. Now ask yourself, is there any good you can identify? Is there any loopholes you can find? Is there any fallacies or things that can never happen in a million years. Or if you are reading about post-event stress or shame, is there another perspective you can see something be understood.
Fourth Step: Rebuild
Depending if this is before an occurrence that is causing you anxiety or post-occurrence that is causing you stress or shame. You are a valuable person. We often have the ability to see value in everyone except ourself. I am here to tell you that until you embedded yourself yourself in self-compassion; you will likely always deal with anxiety or stress or shame. In the rebuild step, take a moment to have some self-compassion for yourself. Turn off or mute that doubtful or mean voice in your heart or head. List four compassionate words you say to person but say “my friend you are”....”in similar situation. Now write four affirmational statements using those four words but this time begin the sentences, I am. I have a free template here that you can use for this exercise.
Fifth Step Rewind & Relief
Finally, Relief is almost near. Unfortunately, healing anxiety can happen but you must work with a trained therapist in Trauma healing which means until you are completely heal, anxiety, and stress will occur repeatedly throughout your life like a seasonal allergy. This journal intends to aid you through anxiety and stressful moments. Take a moment, and think about the upcoming an event, or event that you went to in past that appears similar to what is giving you anxiety. How can you can prepare yourselff for next time. Is there something you can practice or knowledge you can gain that can prepare you for this incident; therefore reducing the anxiety surrounding this event I want you write down four ways in which you can prepare yourself for a similar event or what you can do differently that will reduce the anxiety and the stress.
Sixth Step: Reward
You have made this far in the journal, being kind to yourself, reliving stressful moments, digging for lessons, and uplifting yourself through encouragement and acceptance. Here is my REWARD you. A mindful coloring illustration for calming the mind and RESTORING YOU!!!
Restore Your Motherhood: Exhausted to Encourage in under 30 minutes
Free Printable available
Hey Stay at home moms, working moms, and all us exhausted moms in the in between and deep in the trenches of motherhood. Restore your motherhood in just 30 minutes and feel encouraged for the long journey ahead. All of moms, despite our title have a huge role upon our shoulders, that is to keep looking like we are 16 years old, raise healthy securely attached children, maintain a Pinterest clean home, and make sure the husband’s food is ready on demand. I am exhausted just writing that.
This is wear coloring and journaling comes in handy. Coloring and journaling are known techniques to relieve stress and restore mental wellness. I have an one-in one resource available here for free. Further following my five step process, you go from exhausted and to feeling encourage. The best part, you can probably can complete it all under 30 minutes. Stay me, while I give you the break down.
First step Refocus
Focus your mind with a 5-8 minute coloring session. This activity will begin to calm your mind and take you to a serene place removing the constant nagging thoughts of what you need to do next and what’s for dinner . It’s okay if you don't finish the picture. You can return to it later.
Second Step: Release
Brain dump, brain dump, get all the stuff out of your for mental release and relaxation. Activity completion 3 minutes
Third step: Reframe
Find the reframe section of your free resource, you are going to take a bad scenario that happened yesterday or today with either your children or your spouse and you are going to look for a positive perspective from that moment. What lessons can you learn from this moment? Or you can, take a moment, and remind yourself of something you did for your family that wouldn’t have gotten accomplished if you didn’t do it and how it benefitted the other person. For example, taking the kids to the park. You could definitely use that time to go grocery shopping, had family time at home or bonus some self care time for you. Instead your children got some exciting outside time, instead of screentime, played with other
children and added fond memories to their childhood memory bank. You did that Momma!. Activity completion time is about 5 minutes.
Fourth Step: Rebuild
Come up with four words describes you as mother but I challenge you to look for positive uplifting words. These can be simple words and then you I will walk you into writing into affirmational statement. What are your four words? Write them in the rebuild section: don’t forget to I have a free resource for you to use here. My four words are: safe, cook, here, read. Now writing an affirmational statement is easy: begin with I am and end with the sentence: I am dong my best. None of us is perfect. So here is my example : I am a good cook providing meals for my family; I am here with them whenever they need me. I provide a safe home and read to them before bed. I am doing my best. I am feeling so uplifted. How about you? Activity completion time: 5 minutes.
Fifth Step: Relief
Grab that planner of yours, or that long to-do list. Look for two non-essential item that does not relate to your family needs and delete it for today. Do it tomorrow. If you needed permission, I am your permission. What do I mean by non-essential items, I mean something with few consequences if you doesn’t get done. A few examples are could be: watering the plants, deleting old photos from your phone, calling a friend, organizing the spice cabinet. We often think as moms, we have to always be on, always moving, and always doing stuff. This is my challenge, grab the planner and write in the relief section, two non-essentials things I won’t do today but will save for another day. If two is scary, try one item. Activity completion time:3 minutes.
Hurray, Hurray, Momma, you made it through my free resource as a reward, I have another complementary coloring illustration on the next page. Great Job. Total time spent on Activity 21-25 minutes.